I really enjoyed this story, mate. One that gets you thinking. When I first looked at the length I questioned whether it would hold my attention and get me to the end, but it did without trouble.
One thing I would (maybe) consider would be to lose the scene of the girlfriend flashing Frank, and leave it implied. Didn't need the visual, as was nice to already know it as soon as she locked eye contact. It's maybe funnier leaving the scene to the imagination, but I don't know.
There is some great stuff in here! I love the turns the story took, very impressive. What you're saying between the lines is breathtaking, I only wonder if the lines themselves don't contain too much explaining? At any rate, great work, and say hi to New England for me.
I really enjoyed this story, mate. One that gets you thinking. When I first looked at the length I questioned whether it would hold my attention and get me to the end, but it did without trouble.
One thing I would (maybe) consider would be to lose the scene of the girlfriend flashing Frank, and leave it implied. Didn't need the visual, as was nice to already know it as soon as she locked eye contact. It's maybe funnier leaving the scene to the imagination, but I don't know.
Anyway, you got a new subscriber, well done 😁
There is some great stuff in here! I love the turns the story took, very impressive. What you're saying between the lines is breathtaking, I only wonder if the lines themselves don't contain too much explaining? At any rate, great work, and say hi to New England for me.